When I was in middle school, I was the victim of bullying.  I was about 15 or 20 pounds overweight, with thick glasses and curly hair that was the exact opposite of the straight blond hair every “pretty” girl had.  Now, when I see pictures of myself at that age, I see a normal looking middle school student.  Back then, when I looked in the mirror, I just saw “ugly”.  Add to that a tendency to smile all the time and make really good grades and you get the perfect recipe for a victim of bullying.

I walked to school every morning, and students would sometimes yell at me (usually about my weight or appearance, never very nice).  When I finally arrived at school, I would have to walk through a large grouping of young men.  Every day, they would make comments as people came through their area.  They would judge each girl as pretty, trashy, or ugly.  I got the latter label and they would bark like dogs as I walked through.

Now that I am older and have raised sons of my own and worked at schools, I wonder why no adult knew.  Or, if they did know, why nothing was done about it.  But, strange as it sounds, I NEVER told an adult.   I know that my parents and my teachers would have stepped in and put a stop to it all, but my middle school self did not want to be embarrassed. So, I just took the bullying, day in and day out, before school and in the hallways.

Believe it or not, I was actually pretty lucky.  I had a couple of great friends, a loving family, and I always had  fun in band.  But, I guess the main reason I was lucky is that my bullying took place during a time before the internet, Snapchat, Twitter, and all of the social media students use for bullying today.  That meant that, during class and at the end of the day, I got to leave the bullying behind and spend time with my real friends and my family.

After two years, my family moved to a different town.  I got contact lenses, a better haircut, and grew just tall enough to be more comfortable with my weight.  I suppose that being a more confident person made me a less tempting target for bullies.  Life wasn’t perfect, but it was never again as bad as seventh and eighth grade.

Sometimes, I like to consider what the old adult me would say to the middle school me – and I think it would go like this “No one deserves to be treated like you are being treated.  You have to tell someone in authority so this can stop, today, right now”

And what would I say to the bullies?  “Guess what – in 40 years you will be old and some of you will be bald and some of you will be fat.  Will you deserve to be punished for your appearance or your mannerisms?  Of course not!  Being a bully does not make you stronger or better or cooler – in fact, you are less of a person because you hurt others.

And, to those that bully with the anonymity provided by social media  – you are even lower.  You hurt other people AND you are a coward.

I hope that any student who is aware of bullying (of any kind) will step up to make it stop.  Say something!  Don’t share or like bullying comments.  Stop following those who bully.  Tell an adult if you witness bullying.  Or come find me, and I will help.   I owe it to my middle school self.  No one deserves to be mistreated.